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We like to believe that we are the sole authors of our lives, that our habits, choices and beliefs are purely our own. But when we look a little more closely, that idea begins to unravel.
The truth is that in life we actually have very few choices at the beginning. We do not choose our genes. We do not choose the family we are born into. We do not choose the emotional climate of our childhood or the circumstances that shaped our early years.
And because we grow up inside these environments, we often cannot see them clearly. They simply feel normal.
Yet many of the patterns that influence our lives — the way we think, behave, cope with stress, or relate to others — may have roots that go back far beyond our own lifetime.
This is where the idea of ancestral healing begins.
The Patterns We Inherit
Every family carries stories. Some are beautiful: resilience, kindness, creativity, humour.
Others are more difficult: trauma, addiction, fear, silence, emotional wounds that were never fully processed. For example, trauma from a great, great grandparent can pass through to us. Not at the same amplitude, but nevertheless it’s energy can still be present and can influence the way we navigate through life. These patterns can appear in many subtle ways:
- beliefs about our worth or ability
- habits around food, alcohol or distraction
- emotional reactions to stress or conflict
- repeating relationship dynamics
- cycles of “bad luck” that seem difficult to explain
Sometimes we find ourselves asking: Why do I keep repeating this pattern?
Or perhaps: Why do I react so strongly in certain situations?
If trauma or hardship existed in the family line, it may still be echoing through the generations, and ancestral healing invites us to become aware of those patterns so that they can finally be transformed.
The First Step: Awareness
The first step in any healing work is awareness. This sounds simple, but it can be surprisingly difficult. We are so accustomed to being ourselves that we rarely step back and observe our behaviour objectively. But if we pause and reflect, we may begin to notice inherited beliefs such as:
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “Success is dangerous.”
- “Men shouldn’t show emotion.”
- “Women must sacrifice for others.”
These ideas may not have originated with us at all. They may simply be messages absorbed during childhood, repeated through generations without anyone consciously questioning them.
Once we become aware of these patterns, something powerful happens. We realise that we have a choice. We can continue repeating the pattern — or we can begin to change it.
A Different Way of Seeing Time
One of the more intriguing aspects of ancestral healing is the way it challenges our understanding of time. In Western culture we tend to see time as linear: the past is behind us, the future lies ahead.
But many cultures understand time differently. Some nomadic traditions, for example, view the past as being in front of us, because it is visible and known, while the future lies behind us, unseen and uncertain.
Modern physics has also raised similar questions. The physicist Albert Einstein once wrote that the distinction between past, present and future is “a stubbornly persistent illusion.”
Whether we take that statement literally or metaphorically, it offers an interesting possibility. If time is less rigid than we assume, then healing something in the present may ripple both backwards and forwards through the family line.
In other words, when we heal ourselves, we may also be healing the generations before us — and those yet to come.
Exercise One: Exploring Personal Memories
A useful way to begin exploring inherited patterns is by reflecting on childhood memories.
Try this simple exercise. First, imagine or draw a rough floor plan of your childhood home. Then slowly move through each room in your imagination. Notice what memories arise. Allow the scene to come alive in full detail. What did the room smell like? What sounds were present? What colours, objects or light filled the space? More importantly, notice how you felt in those rooms.
You might ask yourself:
- What messages did I receive here about who I was?
- What did I learn about behaviour, success, relationships or gender roles?
- Are those beliefs still influencing my life today?
These memories often reveal the early foundations of our emotional world.
Exercise Two: Meeting the Ancestors
Another exercise used in ancestral healing traditions involves working with the imagination.
Picture a long table covered with masks. Each mask represents one of your ancestors. Your mother, father, grandparents, great-grandparents — and those much further back in the lineage. One by one, imagine picking up a mask and placing it on your face. As you do, simply notice what arises. What thoughts appear? What emotions? What beliefs about life?
You may find that certain masks feel comfortable and familiar, while others create resistance or discomfort. Don’t worry about whether the experience is historically accurate. These images still represent aspects of your unconscious mind. Afterwards, write down any impressions or beliefs that surfaced. Then ask yourself: Are any of these patterns influencing the way I live today?
Recognising the Family Patterns
When you compare your personal memories with the ancestral impressions that arose, you may begin to see common threads. Perhaps themes of fear, scarcity, emotional repression or responsibility appear repeatedly. These are the kinds of patterns that ancestral healing seeks to address. By bringing them into awareness, we are no longer unconsciously controlled by them. Instead, we can consciously choose whether to keep them — or release them.
The Gift of the Family We Were Given
Ancestral healing is not about blaming our parents or grandparents, or anyone for that matter. In fact, it often leads to a deeper appreciation of them.
Despite whatever challenges may have existed in our upbringing, our family also gave us something extraordinary. They gave us life itself.
Through them we received our physical body, our cultural roots, and the experiences that shaped who we are today.
Many spiritual traditions even suggest that, at a deeper level, we choose the family we are born into in order to work through certain lessons.
Whether you believe this literally or not, there is something powerful in recognising that our family story is also our opportunity for growth.
In fact this whole existence is an opportunity for growth.
Healing the Lineage
When we begin healing inherited patterns, the shift often happens first at an energetic or emotional level. Over time it may influence our behaviour, relationships and physical wellbeing. Small changes can create large ripples.
Just as a butterfly flapping its wings can influence weather patterns across great distances, a single shift in awareness can begin transforming an entire family pattern. Ancestral healing is not only about our own wellbeing, it is also about freeing the generations that come after us.
Answering the Call
Many people find themselves drawn to ancestral healing without quite knowing why. In some traditions this is interpreted as a call from the ancestors themselves — an invitation to complete work that has remained unfinished.
When we respond to that call, we may discover that healing family patterns releases energies that have been held in the body and psyche since childhood, sometimes for generations. And in doing so, we create something remarkable. A new pattern. A new story. One that future generations can inherit — not as a burden, but as a gift.
Interested in Finding Out More?
I run monthly workshops where I include Shamanic Healing combined with yoga, breathwork and meditation. The next Saturday afternoon workshop will be on 25th April 2026 from 2pm and will be the Shamanic Practice of Ancestral Healing.
If you aren’t able to make it to one of my workshops but curious to find out more about Shamanic Healing practices, I’m always happy to talk it through. Feel free to get in touch.